Untitled
by tyomai
Summary: Rukia is unhappy with her life and plans to take her life. But Ichigo says otherwise


**Untitled**

_Um.. This one is kinda sad. I wrote it based on a personal experiance._

_**(I don't own "Bleach" what so ever.)** Enjoy..._

The small shinigami sat in the dark, lonely closet late one night. Silent and cross-legged, Rukia Kuchiki whipped the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She hated feeling this way; she hated feeling weak and vulnerable. Feeling depressed was a silly human emotion that was too low for someone of her caliber. She was above feeling this way. Or so she thought. She held in her hand a kitchen knife she had stolen from downstairs. On her left arm were several cuts. Some of which looked like they had been made some time ago. The newest ones were bleeding slowly but profusely down her arm.

"_Is everything alright there, Rukia?" _Ichigo's voice said in her mind _"I'm fine. What makes you think something's wrong?" "I dunno. You just seem...blue, that's all." "I'm fine, Ichigo. Trust me. Now come on or we'll be late for school..." _It was a lie. She wasn't fine at all. After the thought she made one more slash, for she hated lying about how she felt. "Damn it..." She whispered to herself. "You're pathetic, Rukia Kuchiki. So pathetic..." She was like this for over a month. She felt lost; empty; misplaced. Rukia didn't know how to put her feeling in words so she told her story on her wrist. The majority of her cuts were fairly deep and scattered around her arm. She never cut in the center of her wrist. She was saving that spot for the right moment

"_Hey, Midget, why the heck are you wearing a sweater in July? Aren't you hot?" "I'm fine, Ichigo. I can wear whatever I want. You don't decide what I wear!" "I...okay, Rukia. You're the boss..." _No matter how hot it was, Rukia contently wore long sleeved shirts and sweaters. She didn't care how hot she had gotten or how ridiculous she looked; she didn't want anyone to see what she had done. She looked up into the darkness and shed a few more tears. If anyone had found out about it, she didn't know how she'd react. Would she be embarrassed? Would she feel more sadness? Would everyone understand? She didn't know. "Idiot, why are you torturing yourself again? You know you feel sadness so why are you letting it continue? The solution should be simple by now." She said to herself as more tears fell from her eyes. She decided to make one more cut; one last cut right in the center of her wrist. She placed the stained blade on her wrist and took a breath.

She thought of many things. She thought about Kaien Shiba and how'd she had taken his life from him. She thought about her brother and how she never really belonged in the Kuchiki clan and that she was just a piece of trash from the Rukon district. She thought about her time in the world of the living and how much of a burden she was on Orihime and the others. And lastly, she thought of Ichigo and how she put his life in danger in more ways than one. "I am truly a disgusting human being. I'm the one to blame for this depression. No one else but me..." she took one last breath and dug the knife deeper into her wrist. "Here goes. 10...9...8...7...6...5..." Her wrist started to bleed slowly.

Before she could continue counting backwards from 10, the closet was soon illuminated with brightness. Rukia's eyes snapped open and looked up to see Ichigo standing at the door. He had a look of worry in his eyes. "Ichigo...Uh...I..." The next thing she knew, Ichigo was giving her the biggest hug she had ever gotten in her many years of living. "What the hell is wrong with you, Rukia? I thought you were stronger than this." As he spoke, his voice began to crack. "Ichigo..." Rukia began but he cut her off. "I've noticed, Rukia. I know what you've been doing and I know why. Just know, that you matter to me; you matter a huge deal, damn it. Killing yourself won't help anyone. I'll just be stuck here by myself with nothing to do and no one to talk to." Rukia looked into Ichigo's eyes. He had tears in them and it looked like he was trying his best not to break. She looked back down and started to bawl into his t-shirt. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I- I didn't know what to do anymore or who to talk to and well...I just...I just didn't know how to carry on! I hate it! I hate this miserable life I'm living! I want it all to end! I feel like...like I won't be whole until I'm finally gone from this earth. For good this time; I don't want to come back! I just want death!"

Rukia could a few tears drop on her forehead. She looked up once again and saw Ichigo actually crying. "You don't need to apologize, Rukia. Don't you ever in your life apologize in situations like this one. It's not your fault. We all feel like this sometimes; depressed. It's normal; it's what makes us...human. But please, Rukia, don't do it. Don't leave me here all alone. I'll keep you happy, I swear! I care about you more than you know!" "B-but, Ichigo, it's not that simple. I'm just a burdening everyone here. I just can't..."She found it harder and for her to breath. She felt slightly light-headed and dizzy. Her vision was fuzzy and she found it hard to keep her eyes open. She glanced down at her wrist where she had cut. A large amount of blood had escaped from the deep cut and had turned her white sheets red. She fell backwards onto her pillow very hard. The last thing she heard was Ichigo's voice slowly fading as he called out to her. "Rukia...Rukia are you okay? Can you hear me? RUKIA...!

_I'm dead aren't I? Damn. I'm a fool; an idiotic, pathetic fool..._

All she saw was white. All around her, there was white light. She had no idea where she was but she knew her life was done.

_Where am I? Am I in Heaven? Am I on my way to Hell? It's cold...but peaceful_

She looked down and saw that she was naked and lying on the ground. She felt lighter than she normally did.

_I guess I am dead after all. Heh, who knew I'd go this way. Oh well, this will have to do I guess._

She closed her eyes and exhaled. She was at peace where she was. She didn't feel so heavy with burden anymore. Then, suddenly, she heard a familiar voice calling her.

"Rukia, wake up. Rukia..."

_Ichigo...? _

The very first thing she saw when she opened was Ichigo looking worried and tired. He looked like he was up all night long and he was covered in blood, more than likely hers. He had tears that made his brown irises stand out. "...Ichigo? Is that you?" Ichigo's eyes widened and he then smiled. "Yo..." Rukia felt herself blush a bit. She looked around and saw that she was in some sort of hospital room. The walls were white and the room was nicely air conditioned. On the far end of the room, there was a small window with a nice view of a cherry blossom tree that looked beautiful in the sun light. When she looked at the wall clock on the wall, she saw that it was 8 o'clock in the morning. "What happened to me? How'd I get here?"Rukia asked as she tried to sit up but felt dizzy so Ichigo helped her to lie back down. "I carried you. It was too risky taking you to my dad, so I carried you here to the hospital. I've been here all night. They tried to make me leave but I demanded that I stay here with you until you woke up. You lost a lot of blood, Rukia. You had to get a blood transfusion and everything. Luckily, we were able to find you some or else you would've been a goner." He rubbed his exhausted, re eyes and continued. "You scared the hell out of me, you know. You just blacked out right in front of me without a single warning. So I just wrapped a towel around the wound and ran as fast as I could to the hospital." Rukia lowered her head and looked at her wrist. It was completely bandaged up all the way to elbow. She felt tears welling up in her eyes so continued to look down. "W...why did you go through all that trouble? You look like you've been up all night." She said with a shaky voice.

Ichigo sighed and said "Heh. When will you get it through your thick head, Rukia? I care about you and I don't want you doing that to yourself. You know they tried to stick you in a mental hospital. I told them 'hell no! She's staying with me where I know she's safe'. Just know that..." his voice was starting to break but he did his best to remain strong "...you don't have to do that. Whatever is bothering you from the past let it go. It's holding back and it's keeping you from healing properly. Nothing is your fault, alright. Those burdens are slowly making you suffer. And, well you don't need that, Rukia. I just want to see you smile again."

Rukia looked up at Ichigo. His eyes looked sincere and honest. She understood every word he was saying. She didn't want to hold on to the pain anymore. She didn't want to worry anyone again; especially Ichigo. Rukia cracked a smile up at him. He smiled down back at her and looked relived. "There she is. There's the Rukia I've itching to see for ages." Ichigo said softly with a gentle look on his face. "Ichigo..." Rukia wrapped her arm around Ichigo's neck and pulled him towards her. Then, she hugged him tightly with the all the energy she had in her small body. After a minute, they parted. They smiled at each other with meaningful expressions. Rukia motioned for Ichigo lay next to on her bed. He chuckled and snuggled real close to her. He sighed and closed his eyes. Rukia looked at him with heavy eyes and closed hers as well. "Thank you, Ichigo. Thank you." She said as she drifted off to sleep. Rukia didn't feel the need to cut or commit suicide after that. She was fairly content with how things were now. She was whole again...


End file.
